June 30th 2006.

It is 2 months and 12 days since we received our proposal for two infants from Ethiopia. We will pick them up from Addis Ababa in just over 6 weeks. A boy who will be 8 months when we first hold him and his big sister who will be 21 months.
I already have three biological children, ages ranging from 9 to 14, and they are crazy with excitement that they are getting a new little brother and sister. People cannot understand it, they tell us we are crazy, past the baby phase, but we say...bring it on!
It is surreal, almost a fantasy world of buying bottles and playpens, bibs and sleepers.
While I am shopping, I imagine people coming up to me and saying,"Put that back..you are only pretending."
Sometimes I think I am pretending, I am in love with two little pictures on my computer, little faces with big brown eyes and a fuzz of black hair.
I follow people that have babies in stores or in the mall, trying to imagine how old they are, do they compare in size with my children? Occasionally, I am brave enought to ask.