Thursday, September 28, 2006

Home Visits...

(I actually didn't take my camera into the slum area, as we were visiting homes of people that I didn't know. Wherever you go in places like this, there are always crowds of people following and I didn't want to be insensitive to the fact that I was entering their homes. I wish I could be invisible sometimes and not have to school my face to be neutral in front of people watching my every expression. Consequently, there are no pictures ...sorry! I know it's way more interesting to see pictures than to "listen" to me...but there you go!)

I mentioned that I would tell you about the home of the kids in the project.
We left the school and were almost immediately in the slums. When I say slums, I mean bits of iron or cardboard or whatever other material, all thrown together in a seemingly solid mass, with winding alleyways inbetween. The alleys or "streets" were just rough stones and dirt and as Freihwot led us in, she told us to watch our step.
Mmmmm, let me see now, would that be because it was rainy season and the ground was a slippery mess or would that be to avoid the piles and oozings of human waste??

We went into a little shack, probably half the size of the office that I am writing in right now. It was very dim and damp. Here we met a lady that rented a rag on the floor to sleep on. She had three children, two year old twins and a five year old daughter. The daughter was at the school we had just left but the twins were there and I felt my stomach do a flip when I saw them.
I knew they were going to die soon, they were about the size of healthy 6-8 month olds here.
They had that pitiful, mewing sound of hunger and misery. The floor of the shack was squelchy and the smell....
I asked where they cooked and the woman led me outside and just pointed at the ground to a blackened pile of wood. Again, there were piles of human waste everywhere with the obligatory clouds of flies.
Freihwot told me there were three families in this place, a total of ten people. She had not just invaded this woman's privacy to "show" us the home, she had had a message from the woman that day to come and see her. This lady had taken her twins to the clinic and been handed some medicine but didn't know what it was for, she needed someone to read the bottle of pills to her and explain how to give them to the babies. It turned out that it was medication for epilepsy...she said she didn't know what that was.
I smiled as she bowed and shook my hand and thanked us for visiting...these people were truly gracious and beautiful. My fake expression stayed plastered on my face as every couple of minutes or so, another woman would come and beg to be part of the program. Inside I was crying.
Freihwot said that there just aren't the resources or the staff to take in more families.
Why don't you look up Hope International and see how you can help out?

I feel so sad when I remember that place, it is full of people hurting, hungry, sick and desperate. I think of my life and I feel ashamed. Not because I have "stuff" particularly, but because I often seem to want something else. Something that will ease my already comfortable existence. Something that will make me feel even better about myself or my family or...you get the picture.

I don't want to paint this picture of Ethiopia being all complete misery and sadness, I am just going through some of my experiences while there and the impressions that the country and people left on me. I LOVED Ethiopia.
I was telling a friend recently that Africa has a way of charming you and getting into your blood, so that you feel a deep connection. It also has a way of being so disturbing and heartbreaking that you think you will not ever be the same, not ever... and maybe that's a good thing.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Pictures belonging to my last post...


This is the beautiful child I introduced last as "little David".

Look at that face!




















This is minutes after getting out of the van...











Dave talking to Frehiwot...truly an angel in disguise. When I asked her how she coped with all this sadness and poverty, she told me that she prays about it every day and then leaves it up to God.."I can't do anything, he'll have to do it" was her response.
I have the deepest admiration for this woman.
Introducing..."Little David"

(As usual, this post is too large, I will post a picture of little David and a couple of the children in my next post. Also, in my next post I will tell you about visiting the slum that these children call home)

We had the honor while we were in Addis Ababa, of visiting one of the projects of an organization very close to our hearts. It is called Hope International Development Agency ( look it up, it's awesome)

We have supported this agency for many years and were really delighted when it was arranged for us to be dropped at one of their sites in Addis, and get a glimpse at the work being carried out at the grass roots level.
We visited a school that is being run for the orphaned and street children of Addis. When we arrived, we had a brief overview of the project, meeting all the staff and the incredible Project leader, Freihwot.
After she had given a small tour of the offices and the newly constructed HIV/Aids clinic, (the waiting shelter was enormous and hundreds of people come to get the free testing..much needed), we went to the school to meet the children.
I was constantly reminded of opposites while driving around Addis, especially the back streets and into the slum areas.
Full/empty, rich/poor, have/have-not, joy/sorrow, beautiful/ugly, peace/anguish...the list went on and on in my head. I watched as kids played with stones at the side of the road. Dirty, hungry, wrapped tightly in poverty, and yet they would jump up with huge grins and wave frantically, screaming with delight if you smiled or blew kisses to them.

The school was actually an experiment of doing "Summer school", which I think just meant that the kids got a meal when "official" school was out. We entered into the facility that was being lent to Hope by a local public school and we couldn't get out of the van because of the crowds of children thronging around to greet us.

I get a lump in my throat when confronted face to face with these crowds of orphaned children. These are not looking at me from the T.V or out of a magazine, these are real, warm little children bumping into me and scrambling to hold just one of my fingers...yes, I usually walk around with ten children hanging onto my arms!
I look into their eyes, and realise that they are looking at me like an alien has just dropped out of the sky. We are so far removed from each other on so many levels. They have no idea of my life or my lifestyle and yet they know it feels good when I hold their little hands. I always have to swallow hard as I kneel down and hug them, because I think to myself,
"Right now, at this moment in time, they are actually happy"
I love to give "high fives" and stroke their hair and show them their picture on my camera, always a huge hit.
We stood in the middle of a crowd of the younger children and had a few pictures taken and suddenly, I felt as though I just could not take another minute of this. I found it hard to breathe, my eyes started to run with tears and my heart felt as though it was in a press. I had an overwhelming urge to scream about the injustice of this. These were little kids, they shouldn't have to be scrambling to get their own food, watching their parents die and taking care of siblings.
I thought that if I could just get everyone I knew on a plane and stand them in the middle of this crowd of children, then we could all help to raise awareness. We could really do something. I mean, we could...right????
I pleaded with God.
"Where are you?, You cannot be here in this mess, where are you for these children?"
I felt a tug on my arm and a little face beamed up at me,
"Photo?"
I was introduced to "little David" he was an orphan (of course), he smelled very bad, he was in filthy clothes, I could see the lice in his hair...and he was beautiful...just beautiful. I wanted to take him home.
I took a picture of this little boy looking up at me because he wouldn't let me walk away, he just hung onto my hand and then clung onto my leg as I started to walk.

I watched Frehiwot with all the kids, smiling at them, laughing with them, hugging them and I suddenly thought...you ARE here God. You are working through these staff tirelessly slogging it out in these awful conditions, you are here as Hope reaches out to children and families like this all over the country (the world).

All the children kept looking at Moses and Ayana and saying something over and over, trying to touch them, trying to stroke their hair...
Frehiwot explained that they were asking why we had black children with us. She said that she had told them that we had adopted them.
They were just wanting to touch them. She said that they were saying,
"These are the lucky ones"

I think a little piece of my heart actually did break that day.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006



A Trip to The Hospital...

Well, I will take a quick break from reliving our Ethiopian trip to let you know that our baby boy spent the better part of the night last night in Children's Hospital.

He had a fever for the last couple of days, but last night it wouldn't go down and in fact was steadily climbing...when it got to 39.4 and wasn't responding to meds, we decided to take him in.

We left home at 8:20 p.m, arrived at the hospital at 9 p.m. and then started the marathon evening of tests, needles and more tests. As Moses is from Ethiopia and does not have an established immunization history yet, they seemed worried about infections and "nasty things from Africa growing in the blood" (direct quote!) At one point, a Dr. said to us that if he was "just" a "regular" kid coming in, he would have been discharged way earlier and we would have been told it was just a virus.

Now...the staff were actually wonderful and fantastic with Moses, but it was a little disheartening to have several medical people all wanting different tests, just because he recently came from Africa. I know WHY they wanted to do it, and I CAN see the wisdom in it, but it meant Dave and I being stuck in the E.R. for 6 hours while they took blood from his arm, mucus from his little nose, and poked, prodded and tested him ad nauseum.

I remember at 12:30, Dave and I just looked at each other and almost died laughing because Moses had morphed into "hyper-baby"...I don't know if it was the stronger fever meds they gave him to bring his fever down or what...but he was hysterically funny. He was laughing LOUDLY, throwing his arms in the air, throwing things off the bed, blowing raspberries at us, kicking his legs up and banging them on the bed over and over...and then lying down and laughing again. All the other babies in the E.R. were crying and screaming, and we were trying to stop Moses from laughing so loud.

He didn't laugh at the bloodwork or the nasal collection or having a little urine bag attached...that wasn't funny. Eventually the bloodwork and other results arrived and sure enough, it was "just" a regular virus. Maybe his little body wasn't used to our horrible Canadian viruses...maybe he's only used to African viruses, I don't know.

The final funny episode (funny now, not then) was that we were kept for the last hour just until he peed into the little urine bag so that they could check his pee. They kept coming and checking if he had peed (remember he had the bag on for 6 HOURS) and finally they said they were going to have to put a baby catheter in. A few minutes later the Dr. came back and said that they didn't need the urine sample any more...and of course Moses filled the bag to the top...straight away! His leaving present was an enormous poopy diaper that leaked out all over the sheets and the bed...the smell was horrific and we quickly made our exit. We arrived home after 4 a.m. What an experience.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006



GOTCHA DAY!!!!

I can not even describe for you the excitement that we all felt as we left the guest house to pick up Ayana and Moses...they were going to be a part of our family forever now. (here are Erin, Megan and Joshua as we set off!)

The vans were not as quiet as the previous day as we traveled along. People felt happy, anxious, nervous, chatty and giddy with excitement...we now knew the route to the foster home ...I felt like cheering as we turned into the bumpy dirt track leading up to the gates.

Unlike the day before, we all went in together and sat in the living room waiting for the children.

Suddenly, the nannies started to slowly enter the room, all carrying a baby or leading a child by the hand. My eyes filled with tears (yes...I cried again folks!) as I spotted a beautiful, smiling woman carrying Ayana in, she was all dressed up in the special outfit that we had chosen for this incredibly momentous day. Then there was another nanny with Moses and before we knew it, we had been handed these children FOREVER!

I again marveled at the enormity of it all, our family was now a family of seven, I had five children to care for! Ayana and Moses were a bit stunned and again looked around the room for a while before really looking at us. Moses was quite fast with his smiles this time and even laughed as we tickled him...a big open mouthed smile that we now know and love. Ayana seemed slightly more relaxed, but still smiled with a forced anxious smile if we caught her eye.

We had about 10-15 minutes with the head of the foster home, a wonderful woman that loves these children so much. She went over their routines, likes and dislikes and tried to answer any questions that we had. How do you prepare a list of questions to enable you to take over the care of two children? We asked about sleep, soothing methods, toilet training, foods, birth history etc, but it was so fast and emotional that I forgot most of what was said to me. Dave took notes thank goodness!

Every family had a chance to spend time with the head woman and then we said goodbye to the caregivers, we got to take lots of pictures of them with the children. It will be an awesome memory to share with them as they get older...we will be able to say, "Look, these women looked after you and loved you...here you are with them when we picked you up."

The nannies kissed the children and hugged them goodbye. It was so incredibly moving to watch these women saying goodbye to the children that they have taken care of and grown to love over the last few months. They sang with them, stroking their faces and kissing them. They picked them up and cuddled them, cooing to them in Amharic, gently touching their hair. Every single woman was crying as they said a final goodbye and as we walked out, holding our children, they came running out for one last cuddle, one last kiss.....everyone was sobbing as we left, it was just so overwhelming. We will never see those women again, but I know that they were sweet and gentle and loving and giving with our children...I have the deepest admiration for them.

I will post some pictures of Gotcha Day in the next post as this post is ...again!!!...too big for images.

Monday, September 11, 2006



Traditional Evening ....

We went out to a restaurant with traditional music and dancing on Tuesday evening.
Everyone was pretty excited as we had all met our children and we were full of anticipation about actually getting full custody of them the next day.
Before starting the meal, a server brought around a kettle of warm water and we all washed our hands. This is customary in a culture where you eat without utensils.
The food was brought out...huge platters of the spongy "injera" bread that is ripped off and used to eat the rest of the food with; spicy chicken, beef and lentils and my favourite..a cabbage/carrot/potato dish (can't remember the name) that is actually quite mild and really tasty.
While we were eating, the live music and dancing began and it was absolutely fantastic. I could not believe how energetic these dancers were...they jumped, twirled and spun around for about two hours with short breaks for costume changes. Their costumes were typical of the dress in the countryside, and Selemnah explained to me that most of the dances were traditional courtship dances.
The African audience was very enthusiastic and cheered and clapped the dancers on, one man got up and danced right alongside them, challenging one of the dancers to what looked like a "dance duel," it was really entertaining and fun. I loved the atmosphere.
We finished the evening with a spectacular cup of coffee..(all the coffee was spectacular) and went home to dream about getting our children early the next morning....Gotcha Day!!

Friday, September 08, 2006





Pictures of Our First Meeting

...these are literally the first moments of meeting them.
Moses is indeed wearing pink...in Ethiopia there is no such thing as boy and girl colours!
The Day we met our new Children...

Tuesday 22nd August was a BIG day for the group as we all got ready to meet our children for the first time.
We had a meeting before we left for the foster home and then we loaded into two vans and were off across Addis.
The van we were in was a bit quiet and people were taking deep, deep breaths...this was it.
Mountains of paperwork, months of waiting, agonising, staring at pictures and imagining this very day.
What are they like?
What will they do when they meet us?
Will I cry? (silly question!)

We turned into a very bumpy road and slowed down at a huge gate that slowly creaked open to reveal lines of washing hung out in the courtyard...and a couple of staff smiling and welcoming us.
We got out of the vans and stood in the courtyard, looking around at each other and I felt waves of emotion wash over me. Inside were my babies, I was about to meet them.
Families were called in one by one and I felt as if I couldn't swallow.
Then..."Dave and Lesley and family come in please" and we were walking up the steps, taking off our shoes and walking inside.
There they were!! FINALLY!! In the flesh...I held out my arms and Moses was handed to me. I kissed his cheeks...so real and warm. I stroked his black, curly hair, so soft and springy...I looked into his big brown eyes and I cried and cried.
Ayana was brought out and they said in Amharic, "Ababa (daddy), this is your ababa" and she went into Dave's arms and held on tight, snuggling right into his neck.
Can words really describe that moment? That solid reality of holding them? I wanted to shout and laugh and dance and scream and sing all at once...what I did was cry and laugh and cry and laugh again!
I looked around and saw the other families holding their babies, crying, playing with older children with huge smiles and lots of laughter.
Ayana just clung onto Dave and looked around the room with big, wide eyes. Moses stared at me for a long, long time and then, started to coo and smile...I don't know how long I just sat there, staring at him, cuddling him. It was a sweet, blissful time that will never be forgotten, I had my baby boy.

Ayana then came to me as Dave took Moses for a hug and this shy, scared, tiny girl looked up at me and smiled..my heart melted and I cried all over again. The trauma that they had experienced over the last few months, the bewilderment, the sadness, the sense of loss and abandonment...all this washed over me as she smiled into my eyes. I remember praying and thanking God for the awesome priviledge of raising these children that he had hand picked to be a part of our family.
She was so very anxious, she smiled but took deep, open mouthed breaths as if she couldn't get enough air. She continued to do this for the whole visit.

There were lots more hugs, more tears, tons of video and millions of pictures. At one point, all the children (except for a little tiny baby) sat in a circle on the floor, playing with a ball and we saw a little bit of personality sparkle out.
It was so wonderful to see our three older children playing and hugging with their new, little siblings. My five children...all together at last!

We had to leave after a couple of hours and we were sad to see them being taken back into their rooms, we had left their special clothes for the next day when we would pick them up...on Gotcha Day!

We then went shopping and later in the evening went to an awesome restaurant with live music and dancing, I'll tell you all about that next time.
This post will be too big to allow pictures, so I'll post some pictures of our first meeting (be warned..I am seriously crying! ) in another post too.
P.S.

Re-read my post re Masresha and realised that I should have made it clear that sponsored children in all countries do really well after a visit from their sponsor...not just in Ethiopia.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Pictures of our visit with Masresha and family....





Meeting Masresha...

The Coffee Ceremony...

The family...
Ethiopia (Part two)

On the second day in Addis, we were picked up by the local head of Compassion Ethiopia and were taken to see our sponsor child, Masresha.
I was so excited to actually meet this little girl that we have communicated with. She has smiled at me from my fridge for so long.
The trip through town was again quite insane and we handed out loads of granola and fruit bars at each stop in traffic.
At one stop, two TINY little boys ran up to the window and sang a little song for us and then said, "hungry"...I could have grabbed them and taken them home right there and then. They seemed delighted with a granola bar each and darted off through rush hour traffic, never to be seen again.
As I looked at the hordes of children and beggars, I always had to swallow a huge lump in my throat. I would dig my nails into my palms and bite my tongue to not cry...It is so sad to see mothers lying at the side of the road with their children sat beside them, holding out their little hands for something to eat.
We arrived at the school project and as we drove in, I caught sight of a little girl standing with a shy, sweet smile and clutching a ragged bouquet of wild flowers...Masresha! We were introduced and she gave us the flowers with a beautiful smile and very quietly slipped her hand into mine.
After looking at the school, being introduced to the staff and handing out yet more granola bars to the other children, we got back into the van and headed to her "house"...A mud/dirt hut with one mattress and a couple of benches.
Her mother bowed to the ground in front of us and the worker told us that she was saying thank you, thank you....oh how easy it is to send off $30 a month and the occasional letter...but to these precious children it is life and death.
Her mother prepared a coffee ceremony (traditional in Ethiopia) roasting, grinding and brewing the coffee in front of us..I tried not to look as she swished the cups in FILTHY water before pouring the coffee in and I prayed the prayer taught to me by good missionary friends in Mexico...
"Where you lead me, I will follow,
What you feed me, I will swallow"
Well...it was delicious and an absolute honour to be served by her.
Suddenly, Masresha's 16 year old brother rushed in and also went round to each of us, bowing and saying thank you....let me tell you...if he was in Canada/U.S. he would be a great candidate for a supermodel!
He had fun showing Joshua his pet pigeons, bringing them in the hut and scattering seed for them...

Overall, it was an incredible day and I will never forget it.
The compassion worker told us that in their experience, if a sponsor family ever visited their sponsor child, the child's marks ALWAYS went up and they strived to work even harder than before. It is such an encouragement to these children to actually see their sponsors. (We were the second family to visit in the last 6 years)
It will be such a delight to write to Masresha and her family now and to send them some copies of the many pictures that we took.
If you don't sponsor a child (doesn't have to be through Compassion...although we were super impressed with their whole program and we were shown all the books etc), can I challenge you today to look into it?

(Tried to post some pictures of our visit with Masresha, but Blogger isn't letting me right now...will post some next time)

Wednesday, September 06, 2006










Review of our Ethiopia Trip...(PART ONE)


I said that I was going to review the trip and share some memories and some pictures over the next few days.

As we left for Ethiopia, I remember feeling so overwhelmed and emotional that I cried as we left Vancouver (I also cried as we left Addis, but that was because I felt so acutely that these little ones were leaving their culture and heritage) I looked down and saw the mountains fade away and could not quite believe that it was here...the day of flying to Africa to get Ayana and Moses.
Our trip was Looooong and boooorrriiinnggg (Akeelah and the Bee was a highlight...great movie) We landed first in Heathrow and then in Egypt..then onto Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.
As the plane touched down in Addis, we were too tired to cheer but we all felt beyond excited.
Two lost bags and a stroller later, we were being met by Selemnah, the driver. What an awesome guy, he became a real friend that we were sorry to say goodbye to at the end. By this time we had been traveling for about 25 hours and it was 1am local time. We drove through rainy streets, past a couple of dead dogs (common sight on African roads) and found ourselves at the guest house.
Bed! Sleep!

The next morning we woke up and looked outside. What a beautiful place. We could hear the traffic , but couldn't see it as the guesthouse was set back by a couple of blocks from the main road. We had a little courtyard complete with huge iron gates that were manned by an old porter/guard. Vehicles drive up and honk their horn for admittance...only granted after the guard has peeped through a little view window in the gate. We felt very secure.
There were big palm trees and exotic looking bright blue and yellow birds flying around.
Selemnah had agreed to drive us around for a while in the afternoon and we got our first daylight glimpse of the city.
Traffic is insane, little kids (some look about three or four) dart into the middle of very busy roads trying to beg from the window every time you stop, donkeys run in the roads, goats are herded down the congested streets and cows slowly amble across intersections. Welcome to Addis!

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Well.....

Ok! Why didn't we have a crib before? Ayana went down last night, slept through the night and had to be WOKEN UP (I broke my own parenting rule which is never, ever, ever wake a sleeping baby) so that I could get breakfast etc and older kids off to school.
Her nap today was awesome and she just went down again tonight with a little smile and a kiss for mama....melt my heart!
Moses is sleeping, Ayana is sleeping. Maybe the jet lag is fading? Here's hoping. Here are pictures of them sleeping like...babies....in Ethiopia!

Monday, September 04, 2006

From Toddler Beds to Cribs...

I know that the normal progression of life is graduating from a crib into a youth or toddler bed, but Ayana has gone from a toddler bed to a crib today.
She was having a really hard time going to sleep in her little bed as she had never ever been in a bed before. Every naptime and bedtime was a gruelling ordeal of screams and temper tantrums...I was at my wits end trying to figure out how to pacify her.
As she is sharing a room with Moses, she would inevitably wake him up and the combination of jet lag and being woken up several times a night was not what we had envisioned...
In addition to this, Ayana kept getting up and trying to come downstairs, but the final straw was last night when I heard noises coming from their room and found Ayana trying to poke Moses awake.
Today Dave set out and returned victorious with a new crib which we immediately put up and we will save the toddler bed for when she is older.
Tonight was the test and I approached it anxiously as already I was beginning to dread the screamfest that was happening each night.
I showed her the new crib with her familiar blankets and dolls...and she smiled, lay down and waved to me. I couldn't believe it...I've already checked on her twice thinking that she will be rappelling over the edge...but she's asleep...keep your fingers crossed...this might be the answer.


Look at this cute little face!! This is Ayana feeling very proud sitting in her own big seat "looking" at a menu when we were in Ethiopia.

Sunday, September 03, 2006

These pictures are taken outside the guest house on Gotcha Day!!


oops..pictures didn't post.

Sorry about that! The pictures didn't seem to make it! I will try again.
Also, sorry about all the spelling mistakes in the last post,(one of my pet peeves ) I guess I should be checking for that.

This is Erin (oldest daughter) with Ayana (youngest daughter!) back at the guest house in Addis.
We are back!

We arrived back in Vancouver on Tuesday August 29th...after a nightmarish journey involving late flights, rude secuirty officials, having a plane held for us while we RAN through Heathrow with the kids and all our bags, an awful flight with rude cabin crew and all our bags lost upon arrival!! ARRGGHH.
I was so overwhelmed, I just couldn't believe that we were home.
We went through Immigration without a hitch (my secret nagging fear was that something would go wrong at immigration) and then we decided to not clim our bags. We thought we could always go back the next day and we just wanted to get home with our new ones and go to bed.
We emerged out of security .....to a cheer and a crowd of family and friends waiting for us with smiles, hugs and so much love.
I just could not stop crying, I was bowled over. For people that know me, they know that I do not cry easily, in fact my friend Dave said that it was worth coming to the airport just to see me cry for once! (Thanks Dave!)
My friends and family were so full of joy that strangers to me were crying and congratulating me!
So began Ayana and Moses's first few minutes on Canadian soil...these little ones are loved! (I don't have pictures of the airport but will post some when people get them to me)

The last few days have been tiring and difficult as we have all been trying to adjust to jet lag and getting to know each other. Ayana will come and tell me something and then look at me with little raised eyebrows waiting for my response. "Ow?" she will say...meaning "yes?" Sometimes I just say "ow" and she seems satisfied and skips away quite happy...I don't know what I've agreed to though!
Other times she just says the same thing over and over and then goes into a temper tantrum, but I know that it is pure frustration because of not being able to communicate. Things will ease when I know what she is saying and vice versa.
that being said, she is funny and cute and adorable, hugging and kissing and loving to chase around the house.
She LOVES the Ethiopian music we brought home and races around the house with a huge grin on her face when it comes on.
Moses is hilarious. He loves to laugh and clap and bob his head to music. He snuggles and plays and does diarrhea about every hour on the hour. He has already "baptised" his car seat, his high chair and his crib... baths are very much part of his daily routines.

Well, I'm tired, jet lag is a horrible thing! Just wanted to say that I was home.
I will over the next few days do an update on our time in Ethiopia and yes, I will post pictures (for all the people asking me to!).
Here are a couple of pictures of our children and our first few days together.